Something wise(-ish)

​

You’re not here to be happy.
​

You’re here to evolve.
​

You’re not here to be satisfied.
​

You’re here to grow.
​

You’re not here to be successful.
​

You’re here to learn.
​

I genuinely believe this to be true.
​

And I forget it all the time.
​

Sometimes I feel like Guy Pierce in the movie Memento, except the things I keep forgetting are basic psychospiritual truths. I should get “learning > happiness, you idiot” tattooed on my forearm. Then I’d remember every time I do biceps curls.

​

Anyway.
​

Does that mean we shouldn’t try to be happy, satisfied, successful?
​

Of course it doesn’t.

​

These are all legit and meaningful pursuits. I want those things too!

​

They’re just not the reason we’re here, in this life, on this planet.
​

Don’t believe me? Look at the fossil record. Look at our civilization. Look at the stars. The central impulse of the universe is to evolve. Why would we humans be any different?
​

But if you need another reason, here’s a good one:
​

Happiness is a very precarious state. You’ve probably noticed that it never lasts for long. It’s also usually tainted with other feelings. Like an anxiety that you’re going to lose it.

​

Is that the feeling you want to organize your entire life around? Is that the state you want to pursue at all costs?
​

Okay, I hear you saying. Maybe chasing happiness isn’t why we’re here. But it’s still important to me.
​

Fair enough. So let me give you one more reason not to focus on it too much:
​

The best way to pursue happiness, satisfaction and success is to evolve, grow and learn.

​

These states are not ends to be pursued for their own sake.

​

They’re the byproducts of much more important processes.
​

Focus on the processes, and you’ll almost certainly enjoy the states.

​

And you’ll enjoy them for longer.
​

And they’ll mean a hell of a lot more.

​

So here’s another principle to remember:
​

You’re not here to chase contentment. You’re here to create meaning.

​

(I’m getting that one tattooed on my right cheek. Like some kind of Buddhist SoundCloud rapper.)
​

That doesn’t mean you should stick with people who hurt you, stay in a career that makes you miserable or seek out suffering in a masochistic way. That’s not enlightenment, either. We should pursue joy, gratification and safety too.
​

What I’m saying is: Don’t navigate your life with the idea that it needs to cater to your happiness at every moment.

​

Navigate your life with the mindset that it’s there to teach you something.

​

If you do that, your whole experience of life will radically change.
​

Ironically, that’s also the most reliable way to be happy.

​

And if you’re interested in hearing how this idea played out in a listener’s life…

​

Listen to literally any Feedback Friday segment, and ask yourself whether the person writing in is approaching their predicament with this mindset.

​

If they are, what becomes possible for them? If they’re not, what are they missing?

​

Then take that lens into your own life and see what happens.

​

Have you found this principle to be true in your world? Struggling to make use of it?​
​

Hit reply and tell me about it. I’m all ears!
​

On the show this past week

​

​1212: Orion Taraban | Understanding Relationship Economics Part One​

​

​1213: Orion Taraban | Understanding Relationship Economics Part Two​

​

​1214: Boss’ Flirtation Highlights Marital Frustration | Feedback Friday​

​

​1215: Human Trafficking | Skeptical Sunday​

​

Support Our Sponsors

Want to share Wee Bit Wiser with family and friends? Visit jordanharbinger.com/news to explore all our posts.