Get wiser
Strong beliefs, loosely held.
That principle has been one of my guiding lights over the years.
Having a strong point of view on a given topic while not clinging to it — that’s a superpower.
Because we all know that no belief is ever 100% right in every case.
And even when a belief is right, that doesn’t automatically mean that it’ll lead you to the best outcome.
Beliefs are powerful, sure. Essential, actually.
But they won’t, on their own, guarantee you success, or clarity, or moral stature.
You could believe all the right things and still fail, still be confused, still make the wrong call.
And more often than not, most people’s beliefs aren’t right.
Most people’s beliefs — including mine — are limited at best.
Don’t believe me?
:: gestures broadly at all of human history ::
Recently, I came across a more radical version of this idea:
“It’s okay to have beliefs. Just don’t believe in them.”
That made me laugh.
Then I realized how profound it is.
Also how hard!
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I've encountered this paradox in books like "Thinking, Fast and Slow" and "Think Again."
Thinking, Fast and Slow shows how our minds operate in two modes—one fast and intuitive, one slow and deliberate—and how both can lead us astray when we're too confident in our beliefs.
Think Again explores what it means to think like a scientist about our own convictions, constantly updating our views as new evidence emerges.
When I need to recalibrate my relationship with my own certainty, I turn to these transformative books. Sometimes just revisiting a few key concepts can shift my perspective.
That's one reason I love Accelerated Book Summaries. Ten minutes with these distilled insights helps me navigate the tricky balance between conviction and openness.
And yet, knowing this and practicing it are two very different things.
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How do you believe without believing?
Can you believe without believing?
I want to say you can. But it’s kinda like imagining what the sound of one hand clapping is.
This idea comes up a lot on Feedback Friday.
On one hand, we tell people to get clear on their core values and central beliefs, and to honor them as much as they can.
On the other hand, we often invite people to put their beliefs down for a little while, and see what new possibilities emerge.
What opportunities open up if you stop thinking of yourself as only a marketing person?
What happens to your family get-togethers if you don’t condemn a relative as malicious?
What insights do you get to enjoy when you don’t think of yourself as “above” certain challenges?
These beliefs are so woven into the fabric of our thinking that we often don’t even realize they’re there.
More often than not, they’re less like the fibers that hold the fabric together, and more like a flaw in the fabric that prevents the cleanest stitch.
(I don’t sew, so I don’t know if that metaphor totally works, but I’m going with it. I’m choosing to hold the belief that it’s accurate without totally believing it. Man, I’m really nailing this belief-less belief thing right now.)
This is one of the hardest dances in life:
To have conviction in what we think, how we feel, which narratives we subscribe to…
… and to not take those thoughts/feelings/narratives all that seriously.
So that we can remain open to new ones. Hopefully even better ones.
Sometimes the most important belief we can hold is the belief that our beliefs aren’t actually as precious as we think.
When we do, they actually become even more effective.
Have you found this principle to be true in your world? Struggling to make use of it?
Hit reply and tell me about it. I’m all ears!
On the show this past week
1234: Layne Norton | Debunking Diet Soda Panic and Seed Oil Hysteria
1235: Oobah Butler | A Trickster Turns Deception Into Art and Insight
1236: Bedroom Blame Game Sparks Consent Shame | Feedback Friday
1237: Light Pollution | Skeptical Sunday
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