Destroying the fantasy of finding your purpose


Wee Bit Wiser

by Jordan Harbinger

Get wiser

Here’s the bad news:

Finding your purpose isn’t gonna save you.

It won’t give you endless inspiration, motivation and confidence.

It won’t protect you from boredom, despair or any other kind of distress.

It won’t make every day of your life a psychospiritual orgy with your joy and your talent.

I know. The life coaches on TikTok said it would.

It won’t.

People who know their purpose still feel frustrated/tired/disillusioned/[insert unpleasant feeling here] all the time.

They still face rejection, misunderstanding and adversity.

They still struggle.

In fact, they struggle more. Because they actually care about their work. They’re invested. And their commitment makes them want to achieve more. Which puts them in touch with more obstacles. Which only generates more tough feelings.

So “living your truth” or “embodying your mission” or “sharing your gift with the world” — whatever aspirational words people come up with for this idea, it’s not going to spare you from all that.

All finding your purpose does is make those struggles worthwhile.

All it does is make them meaningful.

But I have more bad news.

Sometimes finding your purpose doesn’t even do that.

Sometimes it’s just one more feeling alongside all the unpleasant ones.

Sometimes it makes the setbacks hurt even more.

Trust me on this one. There are days when I say to myself, “This job is doing my head in. And... I’m exactly where I’m supposed to be.”

It’s important to understand what a purpose can and cannot give you.

If you look to your purpose to insulate you from certain feelings, then you’re in for a rude awakening.

And that expectation can end up infecting something very precious.

We get so many emails from people that go, “I found my purpose! And I’m still struggling in all these ways! What’s wrong with me?”

And I always want to say, “There’s nothing wrong with you! The only thing that’s wrong is your assumption that your purpose was going to spare you.”

Let go of that assumption, and your purpose can just be what it is:

A thing that brings you joy, direction and meaning — which are reasons to stick with adversity, not a window out of it.

So if you’re hoping to sidestep some difficult stuff by finding what lights you up…

Time to let go of that idea. I know it sucks. But you’re gonna discover this one way or the other. Might as well accept it now. And then pursue that you care about without trying to avoid the tough feelings that come with it.

Have you found this principle to be true in your world? Struggling to make use of it?

Hit reply and tell me about it. I’m all ears!

On the show this past week

1250: Scott Galloway | Notes on Being a Man

1251: Jimmy Wales | Building Trust the Wikipedia Way

1252: Her Delusions You Fled; Now She’s in an ER Bed | Feedback Friday

1253: Organ Donation | Skeptical Sunday

And if your “purpose” involves actually getting stuff done — instead of sitting around waiting for the universe to hand you a productivity epiphany — here’s a cheat code.

If you want to finish the year strong and roll into 2026 looking like you planned all of this on purpose, Upwork Business Plus gives you fast access to elite freelancers and AI-powered recruiting that finds the right talent in minutes. No long-term contracts. No overhead. No “I guess I’ll figure this out myself at 2 a.m.” energy.

Spend $1,000 and get $500 back in Upwork credit — but only until 12/31/2025.

Turns out taking action is easier when someone else does half the work.

Grow faster with Upwork Business Plus.

Want to share Wee Bit Wiser with family and friends? Visit jordanharbinger.com/news to explore all our posts.

1821 S Bascom Ave #174, Campbell, CA 95008
Unsubscribe · Update your email and other preferences

Wee Bit Wiser: Lessons from 1000+ podcasts

In Wee Bit Wiser, every Wednesday I'll deliver the most valuable insights from the most fascinating people in the world straight to your inbox and help you get slightly smarter every week.

Read more from Wee Bit Wiser: Lessons from 1000+ podcasts
Boy walking up path

Wee Bit Wiser by Jordan Harbinger Something wise(-ish) If you’re reading this, there’s some project you need to start, someone you need to talk to, someplace you need to go. And you’re not. Why? Because it’s too far away. It’s too much of a lift to get it started (too much work, too much exposure). That person feels too distant (physically, socially, emotionally). That place is too far away (too many miles, too much of a hassle with the time zones). Whatever “far” means to you — it’s too far....

Opening door

Wee Bit Wiser by Jordan Harbinger Something wise(-ish) Just kidding, obviously. I just wanted to see the open rate on this newsletter. I’m guessing it’s gonna be above 90%. Dumb clickbait, I know. But it made me chuckle. Then it made me think. Why do we open random emails? Why do we engage with anything that’s unknown at all? I mean, what’s unknown is risky. Will this stranger help me or hurt me? Will this activity stimulate me or deplete me? Will this idea empower me or mislead me? That...

Hitting a wall with goals

Wee Bit Wiser by Jordan Harbinger Something wise(-ish) When I was younger, I used to pick up and put down hobbies a lot. I’d get super pumped about a topic or skill, go absolutely ham for a couple months, then — when the high wore off, the challenges became clear, and I realized how long it would take to excel at it — I’d quietly give up. Then I’d find something new. And the cycle would repeat. It took me a while to realize that when you hit a wall, what you actually come up against is...