Something wise(-ish)

So. Here we are. End of the year. 2026 around the corner.

Whatever you accomplished this year, you get to celebrate it.

Whatever you didn’t accomplish this year, you get to punish yourself for and use to chip away at whatever self-esteem you have left.

I kid.

But let’s be honest. We all do that, right?

The end of the year is usually a time to despair about all the things we didn’t get to, all the goals that fell apart sometime around the Superbowl.

And it’s during this time that we’re also somehow supposed to come up with New Year’s resolutions to do it all differently next year. While also enjoying vacation and partying our butts off.

Ideal vibe to bring into the festivities and goal-setting, no?

I want to give you permission to do something over the next couple weeks.

I want you to forgive yourself.​
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(I know, I sound like Robin Williams in Good Will Hunting right now. “It’s not your fault. It’s not your fault. IT’S NOT YOUR FAULT!” Cue productivity-related shame tears.)

But I really do.

I want you to forgive yourself for all the things you wanted to get done this year and didn’t.

And if you can’t forgive yourself, then I want you to at least accept that you couldn’t get to it all.

It’s Christmas Eve today. Ain’t nothing gonna happen in the next six days to make your dreams a reality before 2026.

I mean this in the best way:

It’s over.

Let it go. Take the L. Wipe the slate clean.

Beating yourself up this week isn’t going to make you any more effective next year.

(Trust me on this one. I’ve tried for like three and a half decades. Doesn’t work.)

More importantly, I want to give you permission to embrace your failed goals this week.​
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In fact, I think you should celebrate them!

You should celebrate them as much as your successful ones.

Why?

Because coming to terms with what you failed to achieve — that’s a necessary phase of deciding whether to stick with that goal in the future.

If you didn’t follow through on something this year, then either the goal wasn’t the right one or you need to adjust the way you’re pursuing it.

Either way, you need to take the L.

By taking the L, you also puncture the fantasy.

The fantasy that you can attend to all of your goals equally.

The fantasy that you can be an all-powerful, all-knowing, all-around goal-slaying badass in every single way.

The fantasy that you can do all the things you want to do in this life.
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Tough pill incoming:

You can’t.

And accepting that, ironically enough, is progress.

We need to mourn our failed goals in order to get things done. We need to grieve our omnipotence in order to be powerful.​
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If we don’t, then we’ll always exist in the realm of fantasy to some degree.

Fantasy is a dicey place to build your life plans.

It’s an even more dangerous place to build your sense of self.

So as you wind down this year, make some space to put some goals down.

I’m not telling you to give up.

I’m telling you to prioritize.

To commit to a smaller number of things you’ll actually do, and let the rest go.

It might hurt a little.

But it won’t hurt as much as what you’re doing now. I promise you that.

Happy holidays, my friend. Wishing you and yours a full, rich and — most importantly — realistic 2026.

Have you found this principle to be true in your world? Struggling to make use of it?

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Hit reply and tell me about it. I’m all ears! Yes, even during the holiday. Because apparently my resolution is to stay on top of my messages and somehow also get to inbox zero before the year is over. We’ll see what happens. Maybe I’m living in a fantasy, too :)

On the show this past week

​1258: Ryan Holiday | Wisdom Takes Work​

​1259: Mad Mother’s Lies Sever Tenuous Family Ties | Feedback Friday​

​1260: Vaping | Skeptical Sunday​

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