You’re not failing. You’re in the game


Wee Bit Wiser

by Jordan Harbinger

Something wise(-ish)

In my last newsletter of 2025, I talked about how important it is to celebrate your failed goals.

Mourn them properly, and you can either recommit to them with a more realistic understanding of what you’re capable of, or you can pivot to more meaningful ones.

We’re never just mourning the goals themselves.

We’re mourning our omnipotence.

That fantasy that we can do everything.

Which is the best way I know to end up doing nothing.

So I hope this newsletter finds you with just one or two goals for 2026 that you can realistically achieve, rather than the usual laundry list of 14 things that are going to radically transform you overnight.

Amazing how seductive that fantasy is, huh?

But look.

Even if you’ve pruned your resolutions, you’re probably still feeling some kind of resistance this week.

And maybe that’s freaking you out a little.

“But Jordan! You said if I narrowed my goals down and let the rest go it would finally be easy to achieve them!”

Well, that’s almost what I said.

What I actually said was: You’ll actually have a shot at achieving them.

And you won’t be clinging to the fantasy of omnipotence, which is a false substitute for actually making progress on the things you care about.

Clarifying your goals doesn’t remove the tough feelings around them.

Oftentimes, it actually increases them.

Why?

Because you have less room to hide now.

Your ambition, your discipline, your commitment — they’re no longer spread over 14 vague ideas.

You have to apply them to one or two things.

And you’re either doing that or you aren’t.

Your talent, your experience, your substance — you’re no longer using them to feed an identity (“I’m the kind of person who does X”), you’re using them to fuel action (“Right now, I am doing X”).

And you’re either doing that or you aren’t.

Cue: anxiety. Cue: shame. Cue: disappointment. Cue: struggle.

Cue: even more resistance to working toward your one or two goals than you had when you were chasing 14 of them!

But here’s the thing.

That isn’t bad news.

That isn’t a sign that you’ve already failed.

That doesn’t mean you’re fundamentally flawed and will never achieve anything in your life.


It means that you’re actually in the game.

You’ve removed some illusions, and now you’re in a true relationship with your goals, with yourself, with a version of yourself that is real.

The tough feelings aren’t a problem.


They’re symptoms of being in reality!

So: Welcome to reality.

Welcome to 2026.

This week, I invite you to welcome whatever challenging thoughts and feelings are developing around your goals — and then do the next thing.

There’s no magic bullet here. No easy hack. No psychological principle or spiritual concept that will save you from this resistance.

That’s part of the fantasy, too.

There’s only welcoming these thoughts and feelings in.

Greeting them as fellow travelers of the thing you said you would do.

And taking the next step toward your goal.

(The smaller the better. Always.)

Keep doing that, over and over again, and you’ll be amazed by what you achieve this year.

And if you’re interested in hearing how this idea played out in a listener’s life…

I invite you to revisit episode #547, where we heard from a listener who was worried that her tendency to procrastinate might cost her her dream job.

In that segment, we talked about the roots of procrastination — not just an avoidance of a task, but an avoidance of an experience — and how that resistance is actually a sign that we’re on the right path.

It’s a nice reminder that we’re never actually avoiding a task. We’re avoiding ourselves. But that experience is precisely the door we need to walk through in order to grow.

Have you found this principle to be true in your world? Struggling to make use of it?

Hit reply and tell me about it. I’m all ears!

On the show this past week

1264: Joe Loya | Confessions of a Bank Robber Part One

1265: Joe Loya | Confessions of a Bank Robber Part Two

1266: Cutting off Creep Whose Manipulation Runs Deep | Feedback Friday

And by the way…

If you’re trying to take the next step toward your goal and you’re fighting resistance, sleep is the foundation. It’s a lot easier to face reality when you’re actually rested.

That’s why I love BIOptimizers’ New Year campaign theme: Rituals For Your Resolutions. Because every January people chase motivation… but what actually creates change is ritual.

Their hero product right now is Magnesium Breakthrough, designed to help you wind down at night, sleep deeper, and start 2026 rested—not burned out.

From January 1–15, BIOptimizers is offering 26% off sitewide on single items and 30% off curated ritual bundles—including 3 bottles of Magnesium Breakthrough for $77 (35% off).

If you want to make calm nights your new ritual this year: bioptimizers.com/jordan and use code JORDAN.

Want to share Wee Bit Wiser with family and friends? Visit jordanharbinger.com/news to explore all our posts.

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In Wee Bit Wiser, every Wednesday I'll deliver the most valuable insights from the most fascinating people in the world straight to your inbox and help you get slightly smarter every week.

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