Wee Bit Wiser

by Jordan Harbinger

Something wise(-ish)

They say that no one on their deathbed wishes they spent more time at the office.

I think it’s safe to say that no one on their deathbed wishes they answered more emails, spent more time in traffic or scrolled more on TikTok, either.

(Well, it depends how lit your FYP is, I suppose.)

I haven’t died myself yet, but when I’m on my way out, I think I’ll feel the same way.

Or will I?

Honestly, I’m not sure.

I definitely won’t wish I spent more time commuting or long for one last doomscroll.

But answering my messages?

I’m actually not sure I’m gonna regret that one.

Because staying on top of my inbox, texts and DMs — as best I can — has been a gamechanger in my life.

If I didn’t answer my messages, I would’ve neglected my relationships. With my family, with my friends, and with you.

These relationships are everything to me. They’re what make my life meaningful.

And that’s what they say you’ll definitely wish you spent more time doing when you’re on your deathbed — spending time with the people you love.

Like I said, I haven’t been there yet, so I can’t tell you firsthand.

But I have a strong feeling I won’t be beating myself up for this one.

All that matters in the end is the meaning we create.

And the greatest source of meaning comes from your relationships.

The depth of those connections. The experiences you have through them. How intentional you are about showing up for the people in your life.

All of which requires you to be reachable, responsive, present.

So yeah, you probably won’t wish you had gotten to inbox zero before you peace out. That’s a losing battle anyway.

But you don’t build great relationships by ignoring your messages.

So this task that seems like a meaningless timesuck in the end — it’s actually crucial.

As long as you go about it in the spirit of creating value, joy and intimacy.

As long as it’s a way to nurture your relationships, rather than to avoid life.

As long as it’s bringing you closer to the people you care about.

Then all those hours you’ll have spent in your inbox won’t just be “deathbed regret” time. They’ll be “deathbed appreciation” time. (Or at least deathbed “not-so-bad” time.)

Let me be clear.

I’m not telling you to fritter away your one precious life on earth reading Pottery Barn newsletters and responding point-by-point to your weird uncle’s latest conspiracy theory rant on Facebook. That’s definitely time wasted. (Although those Pottery Barn discounts do be fire.)

I’m telling you that your touchpoints with other people matter. And when most of that happens in your inboxes, the time spent there is not time wasted. In fact, it’s essential. And it’s a great way to ensure that there will be great people by your side when it’s your turn to go.

So if you’re avoiding your messages because you think you have better things to do…

Maybe think again.

See how thoughtful you can be about this tedious part of life.

See how generously you can engage with your messages, even if you keep them brief.

It’s your intention that makes your time well-spent.

Have you found this principle to be true in your world? Struggling to make use of it?

Hit reply and tell me about it. I’m all ears!

On the show this past week

1223: William H. Macy | What Shameless Taught Him About Being Shameless

1224: Do Kin’s Red Flags Mean He’s Filling Body Bags? | Feedback Friday

1225: Penis Size | Skeptical Sunday

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