Something wise(-ish)

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Chances are, you think there’s a TON of stuff you need to deal with right now.
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And I’m sure there is.

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But also, there isn’t.

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Hot take, and hear me out:
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There’s only ONE thing you really need to deal with.
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And it’s not bad. I promise.
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Well, maybe it’s a little bad. But you can handle it.
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(And it’ll get worse if you don’t deal with it. Trust me.)
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The one thing you have to deal with — right now, fully — is whatever is in front of you at this moment.

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Uh, okay, I hear you saying. I’m sitting on my couch. Watching Baylen Out Loud like you told me to on Feedback Friday. There’s a stick of celery in my hand. I’m about to dip it into this hummus. This is what I’m supposed to fully deal with?​
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Yes! Great! Watch Baylen do her thing. She’s hilarious. Enjoy that celery and hummus. Solid snack.

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Did you know it tasted that good? Or were you too distracted by the show, by what happened at work earlier, by reading this email, to truly enjoy your snack?
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What does food taste like when you’re not doing anything else?
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Or maybe you’re having a very different experience right now.

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Okay, I hear you saying. I’m sitting in my vet’s office waiting to find out if I have to put my dog down. I’m pretty sure I’m about to have a full-on breakdown. It’s probably gonna last for months. This is what you want me to face fully? You think this is gonna get worse if I distract myself?

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Yes. Be with your pup. Don’t dilute this moment. Stop wondering what it’ll feel like tomorrow, next week, six months from now. You are here. Your dog is here.
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What does loss feel like when you’re not distracting yourself from it?
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People ask us a lot of the same questions in the inbox.
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I want to live without regret.

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I want to get more done.

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I’m tired of feeling bored, frustrated, hollow.

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Then try this, right now:

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Resist the urge to use one experience to mediate another.

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Stop looking for an escape hatch.
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Stop denying the thing that’s in front of you.

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We only have one job, now and always: To have the experience we are having.​
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To do one thing at a time. The thing in front of us.

Our brains want to do everything. Have it all. They can’t.

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But that doesn’t stop them from trying. And then we pay the price.
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Also, fun fact: We can only do one thing at a time.
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(By the way, that’s true even if you fancy yourself a multitasker, like I do. I’m still angry that multitasking is a myth. At best we toggle between doing multiple things one at a time. Doesn’t stop me from trying, though. I’m no Buddha, despite how this newsletter is turning out.)

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Okay, I hear you saying. Now I’m angry. Your newsletter just made me realize that the thing I’m doing, which is Netflix, is actually super dumb and really I’m avoiding doing the thing I’m supposed to be doing, which is my taxes. So actually I should be doing my taxes, right? Which is somewhere else?

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Yes! Great! Go do your taxes.

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But when you do them, just do them. Don’t put Netflix on in the background and then stop every 30 seconds and rewind because you weren’t paying attention. Or have to pause a bunch of times and go back to your receipts because you weren’t focusing. And then take six hours to do a 90-minute job. Then you’re failing to do two things. And you’re not even enjoying the show.
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It doesn’t matter if you’re a street vendor or a CEO, a carefree teenager or an overwhelmed parent. You have the same number of problems: one.

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The one that’s in front of you at this moment.

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The one that you choose to focus on.
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The one that you give all of yourself to while you do it.

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That’s the only thing you need to deal with.

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And if there’s more than one thing you need to do, then make a plan to do those things when you can do them — one at a time.
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And if being present and enlightened and all that jazz isn’t enough motivation for you, then here’s one that should motivate you:

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Your life will become WAY easier if you embrace this mindset. You’ll get SO much more done. You’ll be ahead of 95% of people out there.
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Trust me on this.

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And if you want to know how this idea played out in a listener’s life…​
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Let me take that off your plate. There’s no episode to go check out this week. You don’t need another piece of content to consume, another reason to avoid doing something you need to do. All you have to do is pick a task, do nothing else, and see what it does for you.
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But if that’s proving to be hard…

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Email me. Just make sure you’re not creating another distraction by doing that. I’d much rather you enjoy your hummus or say goodbye to your dog or do your taxes and then write me in a few weeks letting me know how it went :)

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One thing at a time. One thing at a time. One. Thing. At. A. Time.

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On the show this past week

​1150: Randy Blythe | Making Peace with the Wars Inside His Head​

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​1151: Wendell Potter | Killing Health Care and Deceiving Americans​

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​1152: Freakish Food Fixation Fractures Friendship | Feedback Friday​

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