In Wee Bit Wiser, every Wednesday I'll deliver the most valuable insights from the most fascinating people in the world straight to your inbox and help you get slightly smarter every week.
Share
Is it okay to not be ambitious?
Published about 1 year ago • 3 min read
Wee Bit Wiser
by Jordan Harbinger
Something wise(-ish)
If you listen to the show, then you’ve probably gathered that I’m pretty high on ambition.
I love when our listeners chase their goals, fight for their dreams, and find the success they crave.
This is one of the reasons we’re here on earth — to play, to grow, to achieve.
But I also love when our listeners lead with other values.
To build great relationships that aren’t just about advancement and productivity.
To enjoy their hobbies without trying to turn them into side hustles, competitions or careers.
To create experiences that are fun and fulfilling for their own sake.
So it’s not like ambition is the only quality worth pursuing.
I get just as excited about listeners who say, “I work 40 hours a week and make less than I could, but I spend my nights and weekends with my partner/kids/family/friends and take awesome trips and read great books because that’s what gives my life meaning.”
We’re not all wired to achieve at the highest levels.
We’re not all obligated to prioritize ambition.
And those of us who are ambitious still need experiences that aren’t about achievement.
But if you don’t feel ambitious, I would still unpack that quality.
Because sure — you might just not value making a ton of money or acquiring power or taking on a ton of obligations.
But it’s also possible that you’re avoiding something by not being in touch with your ambition.
Responsibility.
Expectations.
Contact with other people.
Conflict with other people.
The pressure of taking your strengths seriously.
The intensity of investing in your skills, your mindsets, your desires.
The fear of confronting your limitations, making mistakes, having to grow.
So if you’re one of those people who say, “Eh, I’m just not ambitious,” I’d invite you to dig a little deeper.
You’re absolutely allowed to not be type A. It’s totally fine to strive for happiness over achievement.
But whenever we have a strong stance — especially about ourselves — it’s usually protecting something underneath the surface.
And if you’re going to live a life that isn’t ambitious in some area — work, family, art, or just being an interesting person — I want you to be sure that it’s for the right reasons.
Not because you’re trying to avoid the wrong ones.
And if you want to hear how this idea played out in a listener’s life…
Check out episode #910, where we took a question from a talented attorney who was actively fighting against being promoted at his company.
His story brought to life a fascinating question — whether it’s okay to prioritize freedom and joy and remain unambitious, even when you’re super talented.
We also explored what else might be underlying this listener’s resistance to rising up, and how we can unpack our true motivations for wanting to stay exactly where we are.
Have you found this principle to be true in your world? Struggling to make use of it?
You all know I take my book prep seriously—spending 15 hours or more on each one before interviewing an author. But I know most people don’t have that kind of time to deep-dive into a book. That’s where Shortform comes in.
Shortform gives you more than just a summary. They offer in-depth chapter breakdowns, analysis, and even counterpoints, so you can really grasp the book’s core ideas in less time. It’s perfect if you want to explore something new or quickly get the gist of a complex topic. They’ve even got seven of the books I’ve prepped for the show.
As a listener, you get a free trial and 20% off an annual subscription. Head over to shortform.com/weebitwiserto start.
In Wee Bit Wiser, every Wednesday I'll deliver the most valuable insights from the most fascinating people in the world straight to your inbox and help you get slightly smarter every week.
Read more from Wee Bit Wiser: Lessons from 1000+ podcasts
Wee Bit Wiser by Jordan Harbinger Get wiser Here’s something that’s been keeping me up at night: I’m a human being who can’t do all the things he wants to do in this life. There are companies I want to start, skills I want to master, trips I want to take. There are relationships I want to build, insights I want to achieve, feelings I want to feel. There are so many me’s I want to become. And I won’t get to experience all of them. In fact, I won’t get to experience most of them. I guess that’s...
Wee Bit Wiser by Jordan Harbinger Something wise(-ish)/ If you listen to Feedback Friday, you know that we’re big on talking. Talking about your goals. Talking through your problems. Talking to a therapist. Talking to us, obviously. (‘Cuz we’re here to help and you know we need that dooze cruise tea.) Talking to your friends, your family, your journal, your cat — whomever’s down to listen — about the things that matter most to you. Talking is crucial. But there’s also something to be said for...
Wee Bit Wiser by Jordan Harbinger Something wise(-ish) They say that no one on their deathbed wishes they spent more time at the office. I think it’s safe to say that no one on their deathbed wishes they answered more emails, spent more time in traffic or scrolled more on TikTok, either. (Well, it depends how lit your FYP is, I suppose.) I haven’t died myself yet, but when I’m on my way out, I think I’ll feel the same way. Or will I? Honestly, I’m not sure. I definitely won’t wish I spent...