Is it okay to not be ambitious?


Wee Bit Wiser

by Jordan Harbinger

Something wise(-ish)

If you listen to the show, then you’ve probably gathered that I’m pretty high on ambition.

I love when our listeners chase their goals, fight for their dreams, and find the success they crave.

This is one of the reasons we’re here on earth — to play, to grow, to achieve.

But I also love when our listeners lead with other values.

To build great relationships that aren’t just about advancement and productivity.

To enjoy their hobbies without trying to turn them into side hustles, competitions or careers.

To create experiences that are fun and fulfilling for their own sake.

So it’s not like ambition is the only quality worth pursuing.

I get just as excited about listeners who say, “I work 40 hours a week and make less than I could, but I spend my nights and weekends with my partner/kids/family/friends and take awesome trips and read great books because that’s what gives my life meaning.”

We’re not all wired to achieve at the highest levels.

We’re not all obligated to prioritize ambition.

And those of us who are ambitious still need experiences that aren’t about achievement.

But if you don’t feel ambitious, I would still unpack that quality.

Because sure — you might just not value making a ton of money or acquiring power or taking on a ton of obligations.

But it’s also possible that you’re avoiding something by not being in touch with your ambition.

Responsibility.

Expectations.

Contact with other people.

Conflict with other people.

The pressure of taking your strengths seriously.

The intensity of investing in your skills, your mindsets, your desires.

The fear of confronting your limitations, making mistakes, having to grow.

So if you’re one of those people who say, “Eh, I’m just not ambitious,” I’d invite you to dig a little deeper.

You’re absolutely allowed to not be type A. It’s totally fine to strive for happiness over achievement.

But whenever we have a strong stance — especially about ourselves — it’s usually protecting something underneath the surface.

And if you’re going to live a life that isn’t ambitious in some area — work, family, art, or just being an interesting person — I want you to be sure that it’s for the right reasons.

Not because you’re trying to avoid the wrong ones.

And if you want to hear how this idea played out in a listener’s life…

Check out episode #910, where we took a question from a talented attorney who was actively fighting against being promoted at his company.

His story brought to life a fascinating question — whether it’s okay to prioritize freedom and joy and remain unambitious, even when you’re super talented.

We also explored what else might be underlying this listener’s resistance to rising up, and how we can unpack our true motivations for wanting to stay exactly where we are.

Have you found this principle to be true in your world? Struggling to make use of it?

Hit reply and tell me about it. I’m all ears!

On the show this past week

1054: Renee DiResta | The Puppet Masters of Public Opinion

1055: Is Nephew Forever Lost for Denying Holocaust? | Feedback Friday

1056: Placebo & Nocebo Effects | Skeptical Sunday

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