In Wee Bit Wiser, every Wednesday I'll deliver the most valuable insights from the most fascinating people in the world straight to your inbox and help you get slightly smarter every week.
Share
I love anger. It’s outrage I can’t stand
Published 10 months ago • 3 min read
Wee Bit Wiser
by Jordan Harbinger
Something wise(-ish)
Anger is a healthy emotion to be in touch with.
And given how tough and dysfunctional life can get, it’s often appropriate.
We usually need to feel angry before we can feel sad, decide if we’re correct, or know what to do next.
Outrage, on the other hand, is a different thing.
And it’s a response we need to keep a close eye on.
Now, you could say that outrage is just more extreme anger — anger on steroids, anger turned up to 11, anger shouted from the rooftops.
But anger and outrage are actually very different beasts.
Anger is primarily emotional.
Outrage is primarily intellectual.
Anger enlivens.
Outrage deadens.
Anger is self-expressive.
Outrage is self-righteous.
Anger evolves in light of new facts.
Outrage cherry-picks data and digs its heels in.
Anger invites self-reflection.
Outrage bypasses introspection.
Anger says: “I’m upset about something.”
Outrage says: “Something out there made me upset.”
Anger suggests: “I have to make a change to be at peace.”
Outrage suggests: “I won’t be at peace until someone or something else changes.”
Now, I’m not saying that outrage doesn’t have its place.
There’s PLENTY to be furious about in this world.
And sometimes we need to convert our primitive anger into heady rage in order to do something about it.
So I’m not saying that outrage is always wrong, or unwarranted, or unhelpful.
But anger has a lot more to offer. And it’ll get you a lot further.
Because anger ultimately reveals something meaningful about you.
Your needs.
Your values.
Your triggers.
Even if someone clearly wronged you, even if a situation is objectively painful, being in touch with your anger will always bring you back to yourself.
From there, you can still take action in the world.
But you’ll be taking action from a place of much greater insight and integrity.
So if you ever notice your anger tipping over into outrage…
Take a beat.
Hit pause on your intellectual position (it’ll still be there when you need it, I promise!).
And get back in touch with the more primitive emotion underneath.
Then ask yourself:
What part of me is getting activated by this painful thing out there?
How is this anger informed by my lens on the situation, my beliefs, my past experiences?
What should I do with this anger that I feel?
Whatever you decide to do, being angry rather than outraged will make you much more effective.
And if you’re interested in hearing more of my thoughts on outrage…
Check out episode #904, where I talked about some of the angry emails we get on the show, and how we respond to meaningful criticism versus blind outrage.
In the closing segment, I also talked about how outrage tends to miss nuance, cramp around our wounds, and make it harder to talk about important subjects.
Soapboxing about this topic helped me understand why I find it challenging to engage with listeners’ outrage as opposed to their anger.
Which is just one more reminder that leading with thoughtful anger rather than careless outrage will get you much further in life.
Have you found this principle to be true in your world? Struggling to make use of it?
As you guys know, I spend a lot of time—at least 15 hours—prepping for each interview by diving deep into the author’s book. But not everyone has that kind of time, and that’s where today’s sponsor, Shortform, comes in.
Shortform is a nonfiction book summary service that does way more than just skim the surface. They break down books chapter by chapter, providing analysis, commentary, and even counterpoints from other sources. It’s like getting the most important ideas, fast, without missing the nuance. You can even preview books to see if they’re worth a full read. They’ve got seven of my books up there right now if you want to check them out.
Listeners of the show get a free trial and 20% off an annual subscription. Just head over to shortform.com/weebitwiser to get started.
In Wee Bit Wiser, every Wednesday I'll deliver the most valuable insights from the most fascinating people in the world straight to your inbox and help you get slightly smarter every week.
Read more from Wee Bit Wiser: Lessons from 1000+ podcasts
Wee Bit Wiser by Jordan Harbinger Something wise(-ish) Here’s something people don’t talk about much. All growth comes with some degree of shame. We usually think about growth as an antidote to shame. We believe that learning and evolving are good ways to avoid feeling embarrassed. And in one way, they are. But over the years I’ve come to appreciate that shame is an essential part of the growth process. It’s not something you necessarily need to avoid. Shame can actually be a sign that you’re...
Wee Bit Wiser by Jordan Harbinger Wise up If you’re feeling stuck right now, or you can’t seem to begin a project, I want you to try something. I want you to start in the middle. Whatever that means for you. Start there. Maybe you want to write a book, but you don’t know what the opening should be. Start in the middle. Write a free-floating point, a random passage. Type your way forward and type your way back. Maybe you want to get in shape, but you don’t have a fitness routine. You guessed...
Wee Bit Wiser by Jordan Harbinger Something wise(-ish) Chances are, you think there’s a TON of stuff you need to deal with right now. And I’m sure there is. But also, there isn’t. Hot take, and hear me out: There’s only ONE thing you really need to deal with. And it’s not bad. I promise. Well, maybe it’s a little bad. But you can handle it. (And it’ll get worse if you don’t deal with it. Trust me.) The one thing you have to deal with — right now, fully — is whatever is in front of you at this...
