In Wee Bit Wiser, every Wednesday I'll deliver the most valuable insights from the most fascinating people in the world straight to your inbox and help you get slightly smarter every week.
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I love anger. It’s outrage I can’t stand
Published 8 months ago • 3 min read
Wee Bit Wiser
by Jordan Harbinger
Something wise(-ish)
Anger is a healthy emotion to be in touch with.
And given how tough and dysfunctional life can get, it’s often appropriate.
We usually need to feel angry before we can feel sad, decide if we’re correct, or know what to do next.
Outrage, on the other hand, is a different thing.
And it’s a response we need to keep a close eye on.
Now, you could say that outrage is just more extreme anger — anger on steroids, anger turned up to 11, anger shouted from the rooftops.
But anger and outrage are actually very different beasts.
Anger is primarily emotional.
Outrage is primarily intellectual.
Anger enlivens.
Outrage deadens.
Anger is self-expressive.
Outrage is self-righteous.
Anger evolves in light of new facts.
Outrage cherry-picks data and digs its heels in.
Anger invites self-reflection.
Outrage bypasses introspection.
Anger says: “I’m upset about something.”
Outrage says: “Something out there made me upset.”
Anger suggests: “I have to make a change to be at peace.”
Outrage suggests: “I won’t be at peace until someone or something else changes.”
Now, I’m not saying that outrage doesn’t have its place.
There’s PLENTY to be furious about in this world.
And sometimes we need to convert our primitive anger into heady rage in order to do something about it.
So I’m not saying that outrage is always wrong, or unwarranted, or unhelpful.
But anger has a lot more to offer. And it’ll get you a lot further.
Because anger ultimately reveals something meaningful about you.
Your needs.
Your values.
Your triggers.
Even if someone clearly wronged you, even if a situation is objectively painful, being in touch with your anger will always bring you back to yourself.
From there, you can still take action in the world.
But you’ll be taking action from a place of much greater insight and integrity.
So if you ever notice your anger tipping over into outrage…
Take a beat.
Hit pause on your intellectual position (it’ll still be there when you need it, I promise!).
And get back in touch with the more primitive emotion underneath.
Then ask yourself:
What part of me is getting activated by this painful thing out there?
How is this anger informed by my lens on the situation, my beliefs, my past experiences?
What should I do with this anger that I feel?
Whatever you decide to do, being angry rather than outraged will make you much more effective.
And if you’re interested in hearing more of my thoughts on outrage…
Check out episode #904, where I talked about some of the angry emails we get on the show, and how we respond to meaningful criticism versus blind outrage.
In the closing segment, I also talked about how outrage tends to miss nuance, cramp around our wounds, and make it harder to talk about important subjects.
Soapboxing about this topic helped me understand why I find it challenging to engage with listeners’ outrage as opposed to their anger.
Which is just one more reminder that leading with thoughtful anger rather than careless outrage will get you much further in life.
Have you found this principle to be true in your world? Struggling to make use of it?
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In Wee Bit Wiser, every Wednesday I'll deliver the most valuable insights from the most fascinating people in the world straight to your inbox and help you get slightly smarter every week.
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