Something wise(-ish)

In the end, I was only in Saudi Arabia for 72 hours.

It was supposed to be a fun vacation — a time to disconnect and reconnect with my travel group — but someone decided to launch a war on the day I arrived (rude).

So I basically just saw a really cool rock formation in the desert before jets screamed overhead and the State Department started sending me texts like, “Yeah bro, you gotta go. Book a flight and peace out ASAP.”

Which I was more than happy to do despite the insanely inflated surge pricing. (Thank you, travel insurance!)

Hours later, I found myself sitting in the same airport I had just left, thinking, “This sucks. How do I get this trip back on track? Should I go somewhere else? Can I Google when the war’s gonna end (lol geopolitics)? Can I get a refund? On second thought, maybe I should’ve stayed. A few rockets aren’t so bad!”

Not gonna lie, I worked myself up into a little fit. The indecision was killing me. Even though my bag was already checked and I could see my plane from the terminal.

Then I remembered:

You’re not in charge, knucklehead.​
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You’re at the whim of forces way bigger than you.

Questioning, obsessing, resisting — that’s not going to get you very far.

Funny how often I need to be reminded of that.

I think I’ve mastered it, and then something goes sideways, and there I go again.

Arguing with reality.

Which, not to brag, I’m really good at. Black belt in reality-arguing over here.

What’s that thing they say about plans?

We make them, and [insert relevant deity here] laughs.

Although in my case, I guess it was various foreign leaders laughing. (Because they obviously factored my little trip into their war plans.)

The point is: I still had to leave.

So I spent the next 18 hours or so catching up on email, reading, sleeping…

… and reflecting on how lucky I was to be coming home in one piece. (But don't you just hate it when you take a nap and wake up 3 Ayatollahs later?)

When my wife and kids met me at the airport, my heart swelled.

Far too many people in the world aren’t getting to enjoy the same homecoming.

Far too many people are hurting right now because they won’t get to pick someone up.

That’s another thing I seem to have to learn over and over again.

Gratitude.

“Maybe this is why I had to go to Saudi Arabia,” I thought when I hugged my family. “To remember this feeling. To remember what matters.”

Also, you know, I got some good work done on the plane. So that’s a plus. (zero inbox for the win, I guess)

And I still got to see some remarkable things I’ve never seen, including some kind of public rap battle between old Arab men in the street.

Which was pretty fire.

And look out at the desert with half of my travel group (the other half were stranded in Dubai with no luggage and missiles overhead).

Which just made me appreciate them more.

So it wasn’t a total loss.

If the trip had gone to plan, would I have gotten the same lessons?

Maybe.

Maybe not.

Probably not.

I would’ve gotten other things. Community. Stimulation. Connection. Escape. Laughter.

And I would’ve enjoyed those too.

But I could only have this experience — this awareness — if life didn’t go my way.​
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So at a certain point, you have to wonder:

Is one of our main jobs to just surrender to whatever’s happening, trust that it’ll serve up something useful — or we’ll turn it into something useful — and then see what happens?

The older I get, the more I think: Yeah, kind of!

I’m not saying it’s pointless to act.

If you can influence a situation, influence it.

If you can improve an outcome, improve it.

If you can look for a third, fourth or fifth option, by all means, look for them.

But acting isn't possible if you don’t surrender first.

And sometimes when we surrender…

… we realize that we don’t need the other options at all.

Because ultimately, there is no “our way” — not really.

There’s just the way.

The way things unfold.

Which we either like or don’t like, enjoy or don’t enjoy, capitalize on or don’t capitalize on.

Play with that idea this week, and see what happens.

Have you found this principle to be true in your world? Struggling to make use of it?​
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Hit reply and tell me about it. I’m all ears!

On the show this past week

​1354: Arthur Brand | Recovering the World’s Stolen Masterpieces​

​1355: Making Kids Aware of Genetic Risks They Share | Feedback Friday​

​1356: Tipflation | Skeptical Sunday​

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