Wee Bit Wiser

by Jordan Harbinger

Get wiser

A few weeks ago, I talked to Michael Easter about how important it is to get deliberately uncomfortable in this modern world.

He’s absolutely right: We’ve engineered challenges out of our lives, and we’re suffering massively from a modern comfort crisis as a result.

Discomfort as medicine — physical, emotional, spiritual — is real.

Our conversation also got me thinking about when creating discomfort goes too far — when the impulse to be challenged becomes its own kind of dysfunction.

We all know people who seem to “thrive” in chaos, who can only function at their best when their life is out of control to some degree. Some of them even seem to create problems for themselves.

Oftentimes this happens unconsciously, in order to create distractions, stave off boredom, co-opt other people into their drama, engineer opportunities to be effective/strong/useful, or (my favorite) avoid other, more meaningful, challenges — whether it’s a project that has to get done, personal growth and healing, or just a busy mind that can’t sit with itself.

There’s a difference between healthy discomfort and dysfunctional instability.

Discomfort challenges. Instability threatens.

Discomfort stimulates. Instability overwhelms.

Discomfort activates the inner voice. Instability drowns it out.

Not all discomfort is created equal.

Deep down, I think we all know when we’re pushing ourselves to get out of our comfort zone and when we’re becoming addicted to adversity and chaos.

There’s a point at which discomfort becomes its own kind of comfort. And the truly uncomfortable thing would be to dial back the instability and find out what it’s like to be at peace for a little while.

We live in a world that creates a ton of insanity, stress and chaos. That actually rewards us for taking them on.

And I think it’s equally important to keep an eye on those forms of “discomfort.” The ones that activate and push us, but don’t necessarily deepen or evolve us.

And if you’re trying to suss out if you’re chasing discomfort or chaos, ask yourself a few questions:

Am I putting myself in a situation that will stretch me and force me to grow in the ways I want? Or am I throwing myself into a situation that will just create activity and eat up more of my resources?

Which specific skills/mindsets/capacities do I want to cultivate? Will this situation help me develop them, or will I just be putting out fires and treading water?

Am I running toward something? Or am I running away from something? (An interesting wrinkle to all this: It can be both!)

Answer those questions honestly, and you’ll know pretty quickly which type of discomfort you’re chasing. You’ll also navigate it with greater awareness and success.

Have you found this principle to be true in your world? Struggling to make use of it?

Hit reply and tell me about it. I’m all ears!